We're too young-
it's done,
you said,
like to podium in competition-
break my heart in five words or less,
fourth and fifth put you through
two and three made you best- you won,
said young, done.

I felt so Eve,
felt ripped into chest like rib retrieved,
I felt you took all of me.

Love- you didn't make it easy.

I learned to carry the weight
of restrained "hello"s in the bags under my eyes,
until my head was too heavy to look at you-
learned to forget how your sandpaper thighs made me smooth,

I wrote you a two word love letter

I don't know when you met her-
Kristen, but it only took a month for y'all to get together
and I wondered how you could sleep at night,
Like if you're gonna find yourself some new woman
at least have the decency to pick one that isn't my type-
I wasn't sure who to be more jealous of.

Love- you didn't make it easy.

I really came to resent you
for a two word love letter I never sent you,
for not one last chance,
"you loved" -- past tense-
I scissor-scribed that into my hip
made dialogue with my feet, thighs, and wrist
sometimes we're too fragile to love
and too alive to resist-

Don't tell me I'm too young,
I'm the oldest I've ever been.

Hey-
I can hear your name now
without the rattle of pulse against skin,
I can listen to The Shins again,
I can look at you, not entirely out
but not in, love-

Don't tell me I'm too young,
I'm the oldest I've ever been.

I never stopped calling you friend.

I am lying

I am lying
covered in the dust
our past makes
to remind us of how far
we've not gone,
asking you to [lay] [lie]
with me with the
strength left in my brow-

I'll be then what I was now,
longing for the future
and thinking of forgiveness.