Lonely Persons

If you would have taken the Metro
I would have picked you up,
We would've grabbed coffee,
Or tea, or whatever you're into now.

Sat, got comfortable,
Settled into malleability
And you would have humored me,
And I would have listened-
A child dipping her toes
In your stream of consciousness,
executed with that other-worldly cadence,
I'd have listened.

And taken in your face,
Steady as that tea or coffee,
You, continuing to speak,
And I would not have told you
How you stretched me;

How in two years I've not stretched, but grown
And if you would have taken the Metro
You wouldn't have been lonely,
But a lonely person
with a person to listen.
And aware, God-willing, and glad of the difference.

Home III

I have every confidence
That someday I'll come back and find
the silverware drawer on the first try-
I'll make it  "home"
Call it "home",
Paint a sign and hang it on the door.

Everyone's got a favorite place
To be or have been;
"Honey yours has always
Been in your skin"
So when the window doesn't match
The picture, you don't live there,
You hang your sign on your shoulder.

I'm getting too good at this, I tell myself
I can wrap my heart around anything
With a coffeepot and a front door-
I call it "home", I call it "home"
I don't know the word.

Everyone has a favorite self
They wish that they'd stayed,
And the fear to feel so run-of-the-mill,
I'm just trying to sink my roots
Into anything that'll stay still.

Make me believe
I'm no worse for wear,
Best to start
From the start in the straw.
Place me in pictures
Where we can't find us,
You know
How I don't mind feeling small.

Telescope (2008)

Baby's got to give,
Kid's got to smile-
Live and let live
and wake up for a while.

Fold up your telescope
And leave it a dream-
Throw your fistful of hope
Back into the stream,

And hold onto shore-
Let it slip through your hands,
All you'll need, no more,
Someday you'll understand.

It's a life to forgive;
To carefully grow,
To live and let live,
To love and let go.

Crucita, Portoviejo, Guayaquil

-

I was just like you

when I had more to say

and less to choose

and my words

wore tap-shoes-

they were

wild and unafraid

Real as Ribs

Tell me-
Did you tremble too,
or was that me
shaking on the sides of you?

Did you breathe
or were you dancing your chest,
Like a human,
Me- sensing your humanity,
real as your ribs
and the hot tea
I spilled on your sweater sleeve.

We laughed
because my hands
are big for girl's hands
and yours are small
for boy's,
and our fingers-
crooked in the same ways
so you said I'm like a mirror,
and I smiled because you smiled.

Swallowed in your favorite eyes,
I remarked
the alcoholic benevolence
and the human so speculated,
so sideways chastised
and warned against,
remarked the humanity
real as your ribs
that trembled on the sides of me,
Repeated for my sake:

You're just as much a fixture of this
As the frame around the window,
And I'm learning.

Nesting (2008)

Grin, Bear it

When I came to you less aglow,

More a-futile,

You took me by the face

You said “grin and bear it”

And you meant it,

And it was true.

I didn’t need to see you crack

But there you were, cracking,

Not breaking but fractured

And bandaged together,

With your grin,

Your bearing it,

Your lending me your words-

Handing me the hatchet

That dulls its strength

Against the talc-ish surface

Of a terrible sky,

“Grin,” she said,

“and it’s important that you bear it.”

Don’t worry about these,

These soot of bejeweled apathies,

We think at first

Fuck you,

Your haughtiness, your quaint aloof,

But we grin, we bear it;

We say we care less and feel more,

Feel less, think less

More less, less more

Fake it, bear it, bare skin

Like a necklace

Made of semi-precious stones,

I won this

And I didn’t even cry-

I am the best he leaves me alone

And I don’t even cry I don’t,

Don’t say “I miss you” because I don’t,

I can be as unfeeling as you,

I can be sorrier than you

And unapologetic, don’t misunderstand,

Don’t miss-upper-hand, I can

Do this all night, see you at breakfast.

I’ll be the one with the 10 minutes less sleep,

Chipped them off the morning

To look pretty for you,

So when I see you

My eyes see you,

So that you see them back,

With the edges, and I won’t even cry

But I’ll grin, I’ll bear it,

Because I see now

That you’re just as much a fixture of this

As the frame around the window,

And I’m learning.