Home VII

"Wake up, you sleepyhead

I think the sun's a little brighter today" 

Any day it's July 2010,

5:00 a.m to 6:00 a.m

on a back porch that isn't mine

and a Red Sweater-

heavy and porous,

heavy sleeping on my collarbones

and letting in the not-quite-cracked-sky's

first exhaled breath;

it is cold and new and now familiar. 

"Go down to the shore, kick off your shoes

dive in the empty ocean"

When you're driving at first sun-smirk,

you see their home in a way that they maybe haven't yet-

even if they grew up here

and know it well,

so well that they can't wait to get out.

"Tell me that everything is all taken care of

by those qualified to take care of it all"

They could tell you that the tree by Ironhorse and Route 185

is the biggest Sycamore in New England,

but what they don't know is how it looks 

when the first rays of sunshine

race 93 million miles through matter

to touch its surface,

dance with light foot and quiet heart

on its knots and hollows,

still cool from the night.

"Though we would like to believe we are,

we are not in control- though we would love to believe"

I found the quiet

I found the sunshine, the moment

where the two brush fingers-

just by Route 185

and if you were not awake 

to see it

know with barefoot and fond heart

that I loved it enough for both of us.

*all quoted text is from the song "Dive In" by Dave Matthews Band.

The door was off its hinges
so we walked in,
you see she's never been the type
to carry keys
and today it doesn't matter.
In the wake of
unborn biographies
turned faction-fiction
all I wanted to do
was play God-
talk to someone
who could not exist
and make her a beautiful
that would shock the stars,
stop the cars
and blur the concept-
Begin.
Eve was made of ribs
but you are made of
prefrontal cortex and heart,
the time
growing wide and tall
that it may take
if it takes,
stick-strike-slip will
Make
you just gorgeous-
as real as they come.
You will own
the lifewater in my hands,
wick it away
when you are thirsty-
I will give you my
Eve-rib everything,
tonight I will have
turned a day
when I left something centered
and she will be you.
I will build you
and I will thank you.
I will leave you out to dry.

A to B

I took my straight line
stretched it out
and tied it around
all of you,
to your ankles
said
"make me love me,
I love you
love me
I'll love too
if you do"
when there's truth
to find truth,
you said
it's out there-
find it, go-
you're scratching
at your knees
when you should be
scratching at the sky,
why aren't you
scratching at the sky?
Skin fabric
around love
that I love
(love me)
when we ask "why"
don't say "because"-
don't word
just deed
(love me)
plant seeds
that are truth
grow more truth,
in the sky
and not your knees
Skin-hold
on the breed
love you
and love you
and love seeds
grow trees
trees that will
scratch the sky
and not the breed
love breed
(love me)
truth tied to your ankles
like trees,
roots-fiber-word-deed
want, need
not knees
scratch ticket
plant trees
make truth
not breed
less because
more seeds
love you.
(love me.)

"All is Well"

Grass- breathing green,
chlorophyl dreams,
more magnolia matter
than new gasoline-
If someone
told me
"All is well,"
I'd believe...

Tension

Past Tense-
just like
Present Tense
with
more charm
and
less suspense--

I didn't-
I do,
for me, dear,
not you-

Don't worry
you didn't,
I'm
keeping
it
hidden.

Sunday Best

Hand-hold your lover
then put him to rest,
Tie down your mind,
put on your Sunday best-
Love Lost's apprentice
in a white sundress,
oh, love

Good God Almighty
you did it again-
hurt for the hurt
of having hurt a friend,
remember you used to say so
on your skin
no, love

Hand-hold your lover
then put him to rest,
Tie down your mind,
put on your Sunday best-
White dress and records
and you've made a mess
of love

The good God's forgotten
where he put your head,
Left you to wonder
how to say what's not said-
Searching for sunflowers
and broken bread
oh, love

Joshua James cover (Video!)

This is a cover of Joshua James' "Lovers Without Love"- awesome artist, here's some more of him...

http://www.joshuajames.tv/

White Girl Problem

If you want to be a violinist you buy a violin. And you practice, you read theory, and you practice and you practice. You learn your instrument. You observe incredible violinists. If you want to be an incredible violinist you can be an incredible violinist.
                                                                        You are not a violin.
                                                                         I am not a violinist.
My spiney fingers
will not hold water
for fear of
bruising it,
much less art
for fear of
loving it,
bowed, will break
before the resin
could touch the strings,
fear of
reverberations
sensation
approximity
and remedy,
sometimes the worst of me
claws at the best of me

Man
          Man

                   Man
Had me eating
out of the palm of your     hand
not figuratively,

jellybeans-

you held them
up to my face
and what could I have done-
your hand saying
           "take this"
my face saying
       "touch me"

-the mastication began,
a dizzy experience
of corn syrup,
y-chromosome and
color
that couldn't
matter
in a dark room.

You
fine for making
New
ways of quaking
Few
words for waking
To
bend-fold-breaking
Blue
eyes for holding
eyes
Hello Hello
adieu adieu
You

Ann and Cancer

Called you today, Ann without the -e
Born coincidentally the same day
as Charlotte and me
then I am Charlotte Ann without the -e,

would have called sooner
if not for qualms
concerning calling a person
for fear that they will die,
then I was afraid you were dead
and I called you-

smooth southern hello on the phone,
told me "Good news!
It's not in my bones"
My chest, yes, my heart no
and it's not in my bones
the tests have said so
not yet, still no
but oh, it's good to hear your voice

and it was good to hear yours as well,
Ann, and you told me,
smooth-southern told me about radiation,
not because it is the slow snake
that will race the cancer
growing fabric in your body
-not bones-
for your life
but because in order to laser-point
your disease
they had to give you a tattoo-

you laughed,
said we should get pictures together
with our tattoos
and that's when I knew you were dying

because old southern women
are more calloused than their husbands' hands
but dying southern women
just want to love their granddaughters.

And I wondered if you were always kind,
I wondered a lot of things,
It's a waste to not know someone
especially when she's your father's mother
and especially when she's your name,

Ann, I carry you
despite the cups of tea
we planned on but left in the cupboard
Ann, and I love you
like a father's mother,
so that I will not say "my dying grandmother"
but instead Ann, without the -e,
and I will call you next week.