Tension

Past Tense-
just like
Present Tense
with
more charm
and
less suspense--

I didn't-
I do,
for me, dear,
not you-

Don't worry
you didn't,
I'm
keeping
it
hidden.

Sunday Best

Hand-hold your lover
then put him to rest,
Tie down your mind,
put on your Sunday best-
Love Lost's apprentice
in a white sundress,
oh, love

Good God Almighty
you did it again-
hurt for the hurt
of having hurt a friend,
remember you used to say so
on your skin
no, love

Hand-hold your lover
then put him to rest,
Tie down your mind,
put on your Sunday best-
White dress and records
and you've made a mess
of love

The good God's forgotten
where he put your head,
Left you to wonder
how to say what's not said-
Searching for sunflowers
and broken bread
oh, love

Joshua James cover (Video!)

This is a cover of Joshua James' "Lovers Without Love"- awesome artist, here's some more of him...

http://www.joshuajames.tv/

White Girl Problem

If you want to be a violinist you buy a violin. And you practice, you read theory, and you practice and you practice. You learn your instrument. You observe incredible violinists. If you want to be an incredible violinist you can be an incredible violinist.
                                                                        You are not a violin.
                                                                         I am not a violinist.
My spiney fingers
will not hold water
for fear of
bruising it,
much less art
for fear of
loving it,
bowed, will break
before the resin
could touch the strings,
fear of
reverberations
sensation
approximity
and remedy,
sometimes the worst of me
claws at the best of me

Man
          Man

                   Man
Had me eating
out of the palm of your     hand
not figuratively,

jellybeans-

you held them
up to my face
and what could I have done-
your hand saying
           "take this"
my face saying
       "touch me"

-the mastication began,
a dizzy experience
of corn syrup,
y-chromosome and
color
that couldn't
matter
in a dark room.

You
fine for making
New
ways of quaking
Few
words for waking
To
bend-fold-breaking
Blue
eyes for holding
eyes
Hello Hello
adieu adieu
You

Ann and Cancer

Called you today, Ann without the -e
Born coincidentally the same day
as Charlotte and me
then I am Charlotte Ann without the -e,

would have called sooner
if not for qualms
concerning calling a person
for fear that they will die,
then I was afraid you were dead
and I called you-

smooth southern hello on the phone,
told me "Good news!
It's not in my bones"
My chest, yes, my heart no
and it's not in my bones
the tests have said so
not yet, still no
but oh, it's good to hear your voice

and it was good to hear yours as well,
Ann, and you told me,
smooth-southern told me about radiation,
not because it is the slow snake
that will race the cancer
growing fabric in your body
-not bones-
for your life
but because in order to laser-point
your disease
they had to give you a tattoo-

you laughed,
said we should get pictures together
with our tattoos
and that's when I knew you were dying

because old southern women
are more calloused than their husbands' hands
but dying southern women
just want to love their granddaughters.

And I wondered if you were always kind,
I wondered a lot of things,
It's a waste to not know someone
especially when she's your father's mother
and especially when she's your name,

Ann, I carry you
despite the cups of tea
we planned on but left in the cupboard
Ann, and I love you
like a father's mother,
so that I will not say "my dying grandmother"
but instead Ann, without the -e,
and I will call you next week.

Home VI

It's strange to think,
alive in me
the things I wish
to not believe-
and there they swim
still in my heart
and bones
and mind
like never to leave,
the concept of
gone
so gone from the thing,
like there'd never be
a last cry,
a last time-
a pang sprung
for the path
that cut my feet,
to want
more than anything,
and the grass
to lay in afterwards,
too in love
too deeply,
with each respectively
to care about
anything else
but home
and home
and home
and home,
the two the same
and the way
color shifts
into the east
just beyond
your perception,
western hello
to a cold cup of coffee,
too busy
thinking
loving
meditating
celebrating,
as if
the light shone
from between
God's own front teeth
onto home
home
home.