We're too young-
it's done,
you said,
like to podium in competition-
break my heart in five words or less,
fourth and fifth put you through
two and three made you best- you won,
said young, done.

I felt so Eve,
felt ripped into chest like rib retrieved,
I felt you took all of me.

Love- you didn't make it easy.

I learned to carry the weight
of restrained "hello"s in the bags under my eyes,
until my head was too heavy to look at you-
learned to forget how your sandpaper thighs made me smooth,

I wrote you a two word love letter

I don't know when you met her-
Kristen, but it only took a month for y'all to get together
and I wondered how you could sleep at night,
Like if you're gonna find yourself some new woman
at least have the decency to pick one that isn't my type-
I wasn't sure who to be more jealous of.

Love- you didn't make it easy.

I really came to resent you
for a two word love letter I never sent you,
for not one last chance,
"you loved" -- past tense-
I scissor-scribed that into my hip
made dialogue with my feet, thighs, and wrist
sometimes we're too fragile to love
and too alive to resist-

Don't tell me I'm too young,
I'm the oldest I've ever been.

Hey-
I can hear your name now
without the rattle of pulse against skin,
I can listen to The Shins again,
I can look at you, not entirely out
but not in, love-

Don't tell me I'm too young,
I'm the oldest I've ever been.

I never stopped calling you friend.

I am lying

I am lying
covered in the dust
our past makes
to remind us of how far
we've not gone,
asking you to [lay] [lie]
with me with the
strength left in my brow-

I'll be then what I was now,
longing for the future
and thinking of forgiveness.

you cannot convince me that people are unlike a drug.

XIII

It's

the

semblance

of

belonging-

that 

gets

me

every

time.

Semester's Alarms

2:50 am
2:53 am
5:05 am
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10:00 am
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11:40 am
1:10 pm
1:50 pm
2:45 pm
4:45 pm
Monday
4:46 pm
4:47 pm
4:47 pm
4:47 pm
4:47 pm
6:58 pm
11:00 pm

I should have been more like Amanda Palmer.

They don't sell fruit here anymore

They don't sell fruit here anymore,
There's nothing citrus
to callous the sore-

Like two married people
too proud for divorce.

What you told me
I'd never have to believe
When I was four

Flash-forward several states
and it doesn't look like war.

Just two married people
wrapped in the same wet blanket

not growing together,
just old.